Reality Sets In

My sweet babies. Al loves Hope so much and she is starting to get less offended by his unintentional jabs when he is trying to lay next to her or the hugs that require him to lay the full weight of his head on her belly, or the kisses that leave her face full of saliva. But he is just so great to her, really. This T-Rex "dina-saurs" night shirt is his favorite right now by the way.

I cant believe I am going back to work next week. Starting a new job is so exciting and so stressful. I think most of my current worries reside with the unknown of my hours. I want to know that I will get to kiss my babies goodnight every night and that may not happen with working until 9 some nights. I know they wont remember these days of their lives, but I will. These are my memories that are being made right now. Tears are all that I have when I think of work right now. It will get better and I know it wont be as bad as I am making it out to be right now, but now I just feel like being sad. It is actually the first time I have been sad at all really. I dont think that full time house mom is right for me, and ultimately I want the best of both worlds; but I am just so sad right now.
Hope is not taking a bottle anymore; she was never very good at it in the first place, so I shouldnt be surprised. I just have to tell myself that she will be okay. she will be okay. she will be okay. not working. I have been through this with Al, but it doesnt make it any easier this time.
Enough with the sad stuff... this is going to be a fun week for us. Today we went to Lafayette Park and Forest Park to play on the playgrounds and Al was so tired by the end of the day that he closed his eyes on the swings at Forest Park and almost fell asleep. We are also going to go to The Magic House and the Zoo sometime before the week is over! Last Hoorah!